THE SCARIEST THING ABOUT DEPERSONALIZATION-DEREALIZATION… (I'm Still Haunted By This) | DP/DR



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  1. I love you so much for this. I just wish I could give you a hug.
    I got depersonalization/derealization from a bad weed experience.. I had smoked many times before that but this time was different.. I felt horrible I sat in a room and just waited for my high to go away. I woke up the next day and thought I was okay and it all came back like a wave. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days and now it’s been around 4 months and I still suffer. I have good days and I have bad days but just watching these videos have helped me. I do everything I can to get better and luckily I knew what it was after about a week because when I didn’t I was in the worst state I had ever been in.
    I wish I could give you a hug.

  2. I am 13 and I had derealization just a few weeks ago. I just remember going back upstairs after a family dinner and then suddenly, I felt like everything isnt real. It felt like I was just dreaming and felt also like my body parts isnt mine. I remembered looking at my hands and touching it. The only thing I was able to do was just pray to Jesus that the feeling would be gone because while growing up my family was very religious. And then I prayed really hard begging for the mercy of Jesus. And then after the prayer, the feeling of being derealized was gone. I just cried after that, thanking to the Lord. Coincidentally, it was Good Friday, just a few days before Holy Week.

  3. I've had de realization for years now.. If you guys knew how bad it actually it is or was then why wouldn't you just want to help people… Why make them pay to get better? Lol

  4. I've been having a real hard time dealing with derealization/depersonalization after a series of events which lead to crazy high anxiety and I feel so stuck… I try to force myself to go out and do things but it seems to make it worse, even around my loved ones that support me.. my thoughts just keep feeding themselves and I feel like I'm in a revolving door, even writing this is proving difficult. I tried CBT but I could no longer afford it, if anyone has anything to say about what helped them I'd appreciate it. Going on google to read things has only made things worse and I feel like I'm stuck…

  5. Four months and is like hell.. My dr is the problem for me.. I am afraid to look the world. Everythink is like out of this world. My brain cant prosses space shape time. Am i going crazy??????

  6. Hi Noah, hi Jordan,

    I have a proposal suggestion on your course.

    Charge people whatever price you have in mind and give them a lifetime, no expiration, money back guaranteed unless they are grateful because they won’t bother refunding due to extreme gratitude. Or just make it completely free.

    At the age of 25 right now, I can’t tell you how long I have had dp/dr until I felt like I was going crazy just recently. I probably had it for 3-7 years because I didn’t feel like my old self that really connected to reality every waking moment. Based on what you described in your past and present videos, I really connected with it along with many of the comments from those videos. I felt genuinely happy that I’m not alone.

    I am thankful for your complete honest talk about this topic. However, I can’t completely agree with selling the course. I’m already unsure if I’m sane or insane typing this.

    Rather than paying for a course, I’d prefer to talk over it like how you’re posting numerous of videos about it. If you understand me well enough while having dp/dr, which I’m sure your 100% had this feeling like me, I feel like this is an unintentional target on the victims of this mental issue to pay for a course when they rather have the answers now. This is by no means for me trying to offend you but I believe this unintentional on your sides. Paying is already causing me anxiety while I’m struggling heavily on this dp/dr. In my opinion, this isn’t the type of topic to make money on paid ecourse videos especially where YouTube is a load of free and generously given source of info.

    If you understand, you two should please consider it. Just my thoughts.

    Thank you guys. To throw this out there, this is already really great content.

  7. I think some times I struggle with this. It’s probably due to some of the drug use in the past. But at times I feel that my life isn’t real and I feel out of my body. I then snap myself out of it and I feel very unfocused for a little while then eventually I come back to life. I use caffeine to help me some days. But over the last few years I’ve tried to handle things without anything. It’s weird and it sucks. I guess I have to keep learning more about myself. It is what it is.

  8. I really don’t know what to do anymore for the past year I’ve felt like this and it feels like it will never end It feels like I’ve lost all energy in my body and I have no motivation to do shit and I don’t know why and I’ve contemplated suicide a ton of times

  9. I just found this video and i thought i was alone, Im 16 and ive been having dpdr 24 7 for about 4 yrs now. It started off being a couple hours at a time during soccer, or at night or if i was getting shouted at by parents of any other people. I went from thinking it was normal to feeling alone and suicidal. I used to hurt myself on a daily basis to "wake myself up" from what was going. I also have adhd so i cant concentrate at school normally let alone not distinguishing between whats real and what could be in my head. In writing this I dont know if this is real or not. If it is real then i need help because i am screwing my own life as i am depressed and suicidal and i dont even see the point in living with this disorder. This video and all your other ones on this channel have given me hope. I wish everyone with this disorder would come and watch your videos. Thank u so verry much

  10. I still feel like I’m dreaming. After intense excercise, meditation, mindfulness, HH and santos barrios program, medication, magnesium, CBD oil. I guess it just goes away on it’s one. I’ve had it ever since I was a kid I’m 19

  11. Brother i am just 15 years old and i am suffering from anxiety depression and depersonalisation i am so scared.the last time that i was truly happy was about 9 months ago but my family dont know that i am suffering from depersonalisation coz i didn't told them about this coz they don't understand my feelings they just think that is my weakness the problem is that i cant pay for that recovery programme coz my parents dont know. If you are reading this comment plzzzzz plz reply me i sure that there are thousands of teens who suffers from this but they don't have anyone to talk to.i am just alone nobody understands my feelings so plzz make a video about the tips to recover i have written this comment coz i thought than you can understand me coz you have dealt this

  12. I wish I'd known of your channel sooner. I have DP/DR too and it started about 3 years ago. I had to claw my way back to where I am today. The first year was so scary but now I can say im 80 percent better but still need more work to do to get my self back

  13. This mental disorder came over me when I was at my grandfather's funeral. I was numb,and I felt so detached from PEOPLE. It felt like a dream state. Picture feeling that way at a funeral. It was unbelievable

  14. This is more or less my state constantly for the past 2 years now. At first I thought I was gonna die. Then, when I didn't die, I was positive I had lost my mind and gone completely psychotic. Is that what that felt like? Is this how insanity feels? I was sure of it. Then I thought I had some sort of brain tumor. Then, I just got more and more used to it. I didn't go insane, I didn't die, nothing happened. I just stayed that way. And I still do… It's become my new normal. This sensation is horrible. I almost just wanna go insane, or just drop dead, or have some sort of serious illness. But being like this; it's like i'm stuck in limbo. Constantly on the edge of either death or insanity… That's what it feels like for me.

  15. @bignoknow @The Anxiety Ninja
    Hey guys my names Danny, so I’m just reaching out because I wanted to address some things about this subject and just wanted to have a discussion with you dudes if it’s possible? You guys seem to be the most followed and most trustworthy spokesmen on this subject so I thought reaching out to you dudes would be best. Basically there’re are 2 things I wanted to address. 1. I don’t know if you should be charging people for this program. And 2. I know the anxiety ninja always says in his videos that dpdr is “not dangerous”. I just don’t know if that’s a good mindset to be sending out to others that have this? I understand the calming effect you’re trying to have on others, but the truth is this condition, if not figured out, causes so so many people to become suicidal and want to harm themselves and that to me is dangerous. This is why I kinda think it’s not a well studied subject in the mental health world, because people just pass it off as “just anxiety”. Anyways if you guys would like to talk in private I’m all for it. Just wanted to say I am SO not trying to argue I’ve just also been through the absolute absolute worst of this disorder and am looking to help others with it also. Something else I wanted to reach out to you dudes for is possibly looking into trying to find out how to do a ted talk on the subject? Something along those lines that has a larger platform and can bring more awareness to this disorder. I am so terrible with grammar forgive me lol

  16. Yes!! After my first episode of derealization (but didn't know it had a name) is how I discovered you Noah. The only thing I knew to do was to enter in my sensation in Google search and somehow linked up to your channel. I was convinced during my episode that I had passed away in my sleep because when it was happening it was in the middle of the night and I woke up into the derealization. It is so so great your doing this.

  17. I smoked weed and it got this feeling. And I have stoped smoking since then. And it is like ot comes back everyday and I'm so scared… ot feels like I'm going to die… and I dont know what to do

  18. I have my first doctors appointment this Thursday where I’ll be talking about my DP/DR, it’s hard to explain and I’m terrified they won’t understand how I feel but this video really helped ❤️

  19. I have depersonalization and have known that for two years now, have been suffering from this for 9 years of my life. I was hopeless, iI felt like I was slowly disappearing. I just wanted to dye, because the pain of living, but not really living, was just too painful to bear. I know that only you can understand how terrifying and how so so painful that is. I have been to every doctor there is here in Sweden and no one even knows what depersonalization is, I mean two years ago I didn't know either. I feel better now that I watched your video, and really really hope that this "program for recovery" actually works. Thank you so much for this video, you make me feel hope again, and I'm so so happy that you are better now, I wouldn't wish Dp on anyone in the world.

  20. Been in this since april, not even sure if I'm dp'd to be honest anymore.
    I feel disconnected from surroundings, my vision seems zoomed out, likw there is a massive space around me.
    Vision is clearer than when I was normal but I can't connect to anything, like I can't watch tv and that become my only focus.
    No emotions whatsoever, have no connection to home or parents even.
    Making random shit up/daydreaming conversations what don't happen, doesn't feel like im dissociating though, feels like my thoughts have been replaced with them.

    Lost sense of self, self. Feel like and empty shell with no recollection of how I used to be.
    Thinking sounds like im talking to myself/ no one as I have no self.
    Constant music in head
    Can't sleep properly, when I close my eyes I can't go into sleep mode, I'm just literally closing my eyes.
    Feels like im still in a dream when I get out of bed

    No emotional attatchment to memories, memories of before DP feel like a dream, and the me before this a stranger.

    Really don't know if I can keep going.

    I could deal with the depression I had prior to this but the whole no emotions, unreality, sense of self and not recognising family is just too much.

  21. Thanks for making this video. I've had chronic dp/dr disorder for over 6 years now. I finally found a therapist that understands it well. The most important thing I've learned so far that she taught me is radical acceptance, complete and total acceptance with your whole mind, heart and body. I think I have finally achieved that which I never thought possible and it has made a huge difference. I'm still pretty badly dissociated regularly however it doesn't cause the same hopelessness and depression it did before. I will look into the channel you recommended though I probably can't afford the program at this time due to my current finances. Thanks again! 🙂

  22. I suffered this after I had my last baby in November '17. It was the most terrifying thing I'd EVER experienced….it spiraled into suicidal depression and it lasted until about July 2018. I am so grateful to God that I have come out of it. I feel sad that my beautiful baby's first few months of life were with a depressed mother. (Thank God for his wonderful, loving father and Grandma – my mum) I am even more grateful that I never had any psychotic thoughts or harmful thoughts about him. It was always self harm. I still have memories of that feeling and it scares me; I totally relate to feeling haunted by it! But today I have a strong relationship with my Higher Power that I am able to surrender my fears to. Thanks for your channel.

  23. I got this after my sister committed suicide, I began to feel that way after I got my back cracked at a healing place and it messed up my back big time, it is still messed up today, and that was in June. It’s like I felt it before she passed away. After that, being someone who knows how to take care of themselves emotionally and mentally, I tried to process everything slowly, but at the same time I was in a toxic relationship, where I was argued with constantly after my sisters death, I was verbally and physically abused, by someone who was obviously not right for me, and it happened, one day I woke up and it felt like I was dreaming, I was so scared. My sister passed in June last year. I broke up with my ex in November and went on a spiritual retreat since January. I am back home now. Today, and yesterday have been stressful, I’ve noticed stress activated the derealization.. IF you don’t take care of it.. I’m just writing this here to share because of the hard days and the people that may take something from this and use it, and I know what I must do.. but I’ve been having a hard time taking action where I’ve just become exhausted, and wanting the quick fix.. lol, I’ve been through the suicidal thoughts as well, and existential thoughts, it felt like I went crazy for awhile. What I found helped me the most was finding a connection. A spiritual connection to a higher power, Universe, God, whatever. Not only that but a reconnection to my spirit or the body if you will, the way I did that was remembering love, and who I was before and what I used to love to do, I did those things, also, expressing trapped emotions, by screaming, yelling, crying, and reliving traumatic events briefly by bringing those feelings back in the present moment, feeling the memories while they replay in my head and then begin to release them in a safe way by having an emotional release. I could say, I am doing way better and there is days where it comes strong, but I shake it off, and continue on.. it felt like I was on autopilot too, but I had to do what I had to do. It felt like a curse. I pray constantly but I am not praying anymore, for I’ve prayed a lot lately, and I think that’s just too much to ask, when I pray constantly.. lol. Anyway, I’d like to chat with anyone, if anyone wants to share their experiences how they got better just reply to me. Thanks man, I love you guys all, don’t ever give up, keep going. You’ll all feel better again. I love you all!

  24. I’m just a little skeptical about paying $99 for the course. I understand their should be a price to pay for something that’s had work put into it, but it does seem pricey

  25. It’s funny this video popped up in my feed today. Tomorrow marks the exact day , 6 year ago, since I first experienced DP. I will never forget and was stuck in the state for weeks. No one really understands until you’re there. I also felt like I was going crazy, sinking into so much depression and felt suicidal. After much researching online I found out what DP was, eventually found your channel. I can’t thank you enough for the videos and advice you had on here. You have no idea how good it felt to know I wasn’t alone, especially in those days. I would re-watch your videos and that would bring me hope that one day I would get better, and I did. I still get DP once in awhile when my anxiety is really bad. Thank you for all you do and all the content you put out. This video popping up tonight is a great reminder of how strong I’am and how far I’ve come from that day. You saved me. Thank you.

  26. You went through hell and back in the past, but I am so happy that you are 100% bro! Keep up with healthy habits, meals, workouts and keep smiling whenever you can! God Bless you Noah!😊

  27. I remember watching one of your derealization themed videos about 2 years ago, and crying because I thought there was no way I could ever get better. It felt relieving to see that I wasn't alone with it though. Well, after 4 years of constant 24/7 derealization, I started get better step by step. I realized that the horrible "brainfog" was connected to my eating disorder. Once I recovered from ED, derealization disappeared with it. There definitely is hope for everyone, just take care of yourselves and stay patient 🙌

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