40 Comments

  1. I so closely identify with what you've said about food addiction! It truly is a thing and an "itch" is such an accurate description of the feeling. I was having a hard night with wanting to eat, and watching this video really helped me so much. So thank you for being so brave and for sharing with us!

  2. I am sorry for all you have gone through. I have been both anorexic and a compulsive eater and I know how hard it is to fight the compulsion to eat. Still today I feel a stronger pull to the compulsive eating disorder than the anorexic one. It is a daily struggle. Good luck to you.

  3. The way you described the struggle is so accurate and well-put. You’re amazing for putting this out there, and I hope being able to “air” your thoughts and struggles helps you get past them. 💜💜

  4. You described the food addiction pretty much exactly as I experience it too!! Spot on! I was verbally physically abused by my father and later mother also for 20 years, we're here for you!! ❤❤❤

  5. I love you Jen!!! Your story was so upsetting to me because of the pain and torment you had to endure. Especially the pain you now feel as an adult. God bless you and your journey. My prayers are with you always ❤️🙏🏼

  6. I’m so sorry, I feel like I’m watching a video of myself with your video so much in common here Especially when you talk about loving the one who abused you. This really screws up your (the abused) lives.

  7. I know exactly what you are talking about. The voice is awful. Fighting the urge is extremely hard. Then after that I'll get a picture of a certain food in my head and crave and obsess over it. It's awful. I try to stay in my calorie range during those moments but it's hard.

  8. Hi Jen! I stumbled upon your YouTube channel and just wanted to send love over to you. I think that you are so brave for putting it all out there and I can only send you positive vibes and encourage you to continue your journée. Your struggle is real, everyone has their storie and their struggle but not many are brave enough for talking about it as openly as you do. I am sending you so much love from Morocco. I am a mom of 3 with her own storie but can relate to you in a way that only I can understand. Take good care of yourself and I will keep on watching you and support you from ou end of the screen. Just know that you are not alone because if 17 000 people are watching you, it is for a reason. You have a wonderful soul and a great personality. xoxo Vanessa

  9. My heart is sore for you Jen. It’s just heartbreaking.
    I struggle with food too and I understand you when you say there’s an itch deep in your brain. I find bingeing sedates me and puts me in a food coma. When I don’t eat my feelings are sharp. I wasn’t abused but I had a difficult childhood and food was my soother. Luckily I got it under control and I’m now a normal weight (up and down!) but it’s a struggle . A daily struggle and sometimes I binge and gain a lot in a short amount of time. Food is definitely an addiction, no doubt but I believe in you . I know you’ll win this battle. You’re truly gorgeous. Love to you ❤️

  10. Are you doing therapy? I had struggled with an eating disorder and you MUST work on what causes it because working only on the symptoms(in your case the weight loss) that cannot be entirely successful. You need to work on the pain and damage you have buried inside. Since you have already recognized the origin of the problem, you are on track! Keep going!

  11. Hi, Jen! Talking about my own experience with binging and this itch, I think it is a Jungian thing. Every time this uncontrollable need to eat a lot shows up, it is a traumatic experience trying to get out of the subconscious and enter the conscious mind. As recognizing and dealing with it is extremely painful, we try to numb ourselves with food, a distraction we learned very young (and the problem is that food is pleasurable too). If we stay in moment long enough, this traumatic content will come to the surface and we can clear it out, letting less and less pain in the dark (where it really grows). It take strength and some soothing skills to face our demons, but in the end it is much better than being in the never ending escape mentality, at least I'm trying to do that.

  12. I am so sorry! I understand it all, sadly, and am in awe of your resolve and strength.

    I know various things have been suggested, but I have had help from EFT, or emotional freedom technique (tapping). I think one aspect that helps so much is I speak how I am really feeling, no need to put on a happy face. After a round or two, then I hive myself affirmations and vision. There are examples on YouTube. It seems quite simple, but I have found it extremely powerful. You can do a session in minutes, as often as you need. I have done while driving, which probably looks strange to others. LOL.

    Blessings on your day! One step at a time. You are worth it!!!!

  13. I relate so much to needing a vice as a comfort from abuse. I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve been through. Please know that you are never alone in what you are feeling. Sending you so much love, girl ❤️ I’m proud of you for sharing your story

  14. Oh Jen ~~~ my 💜 goes out to you 😔 I’m so very sorry for all your mental & emotional suffering 😥
    I’m obese too & all my life I lose 100 lbs. then I gain it all back
    plus more 😕 I’ve yo-yoed for years & years so I can truly relate to what you’re going through, although my obesity isn’t from any kind of abuse….
    just my OWN mental abuse that I put on myself since I was young 😔 I will definitely keep you in my THOUGHTS & PRAYERS 🙏 Keep up all your HARD WORK with getting on a healthy eating plan. I’m very PROUD of YOU JEN 🥰 GOD BLESS YOU 🙏

  15. You’ve explained this so beautifully and reminded me why I need to not be a critical know it all but rather show love and support. I’m sorry that your version of normal was so screwed up. Like it seems everyone is messed up in some way but yours is really bad and starts so early on. We just gotta try to be here for each other and be nice to each other and create something good, which this channel can do.

  16. I was in abusive relationships I always starved myself and popped diet pills I never really had an appetite. After I quit my diet pill addiction I gained 80 pounds. My highest weight was 281. I chose to lose weight cuz my breathing problems were out of control. I’m 247 pounds now, I don’t know what it feels like to be over 300 pounds. Weight loss is a very hard thing. It took me 15 months to lose 40 pounds… thank you for sharing your story.

  17. I'm so sorry you had to suffer so much. I, too was a child of abuse, physical, mental & sexual. I know it's hard to cope. I binged until I vomited trying to push those feelings down. I started seeing a therapist the end of last year and it helps me to cope. I lost over 200 lbs. Now that I don't use food to cope I'm struggling to keep the weight off. I know what it's like. I won't even bring my favorite foods home cause I know I'm setting myself up if I do. Jen, do you have a trigger binge food? Mine is frito-lays Jalapeno & cheddar dip. I can't even buy it for my daughter because I end up eating it. I will be praying for you Hun. God bless.

  18. I like that you have the courage to talk about your abuse because it puts the shame onto the shoulders of whom it belongs: HIM, and ONLY HIM. The more that people talk about it, the less taboo it becomes……because the reality is that it shouldn’t be. The fact that it is reveals something very sick about our society, and I fear the only remedy is to offer support and encouragement along the way.

    I DO hope that you achieve full health….although personally I’m skeptical that it can be done without some sort of rehab. The addict part of you is very strong right now. Food is only your DOC. If you have insurance, a 3-month rehab would allow you to focus on getting better. Things like white flour and refined sugar are out of the question for you. My mother is a food addict. It has been 10 years since she’s eaten flour or sugar. If you continue to eat them, you’ll be working against your best interest.

    My mother still enjoys good food, but weighing and measuring are part of the program, as are 12-step meetings. AND YOU VERY MUCH NEED A SPONSOR. Self-isolation is tempting. Do not do it. Fuck the crocheting. You need REAL LIFE social interaction. The withdrawal feeds the addiction. RELAPSE IS NOT A FOREGONE CONCLUSION, EVEN for food addicts.

    My mother’s group is called Food Anonymous. If you need info, look online or let me know. God bless.

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