Cohabitation ≠ marriage | reTHINK TANK



Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Lauren Hashian are preparing for the arrival of their second child – outside of marriage. AEI’s W. Bradford Wilcox explains that …

31 Comments

  1. I'm sure it would suck to be in a bad marriage but if you're happily married it's seriously the best thing ever. Rather than misleading men to think marriage is bad, we should be stressing the importance of choosing the right woman

  2. I and my partner aren't married and our kids are fine and in college. Marriage, alas, is not merely an emotional or cultural commitment. It's a complex tax and property contract that has downsides for many couples. The real issue here is seriousness and commitment. Choosing to have kids is choosing to make a long-term commitment. People just need to realize that, as far as that goes, marrying or not isn't the issue: commitment is.

  3. There are some social things we can do to encourage marriage. When a girl announces that she is pregnant her friends and relatives can ask her when she is getting married. Birthday card for 25 year old women can show pictures of marriage and babies. Churches could remember that they make money from weddings and have priests line up to marry cohabiting couples – when they want to start a family. Men may pop the question but the bride has probably been nagging him about getting married for a year.

  4. The situation that led to Abraham having his first son with Hagar and the jealousy that arose with Sarah when she bore Isaac, tells us; stepfamilies will have complicated relationships that are difficult to solve.Someone will have to leave the household if it is to live in peace.

  5. half of marriages end in divorce. the chances increase if you get re-married. why are you only talking about a child living with their mom and boyfriend? there are single fathers that date too. what about kids that live with their unmarried biological parents? how long were these people living together? you didnt address any of these things. your not taking into account their financial backgrounds. what if two unmarried lawyers have kids?

  6. It is selfish, immature, and irresponsible to have children outside of wedlock.

    My libertarian belief that people have the right to behave stupidly prevents me from advocating making having kids out of wedlock illegal BUT it does NOT prevent me from advocating of limiting child support to only kids conceived or adopted while the parents were married.

  7. I would have to question how one defines marriage. My partner and I have been together for over 12 years now. I refer to her as my wife, but we haven't had any fancy ceremony or government certification of our union. We just have the commitment to eachother and our children. We have had some rough spots but we work it out. Our kids are well behaved, socialize well with others, and perform well academically. All without what is typically defined as marriage. I wonder if it is the marriage or the understanding of how to pick a good partner and maintain a healthy relationship that is the real issue.

  8. I feel cohabitation is indecision masquerading as "a big step in our relationship". If you're not sure whether you want to marry a person, why would you want to become financially dependent/interdependent on them through cohabitation? It actually discourages breaking up with them, and if you're not sure you want to marry, presumably there's a reason behind it. Either that, or you're practicing the habit of being (inter)dependent while being open to leaving. Both factors are probably what contribute to the higher rates of divorce among those who cohabited before marriage, than those who never cohabited.

    Because if you'd be okay with marrying them, you'd probably just marry them.

  9. "What is good will be evil and what is evil will become good." It doesn't matter what effect this has on kids. Adults now have absolutely no care for other people besides themselves. Scripture also states that people will become lovers of money and of themselves. This is all leading to the end, and things have already started. Things will NOT get better. They won't. I'm sorry. Things will continue to get worse and worse until everything we know will end. It's just how God has it all planned. Very few, VERY few will ever find the road to heaven.

  10. Single mothers are terrible. Call it what it is. Single fathers don't do the harm that single mothers do and that's backed up by statistics.

    Tradcons like Bradford Wilcox need to wake up and see that begging men to walk into a minefield is the wrong answer.

  11. The arguments stated here are flawed and heavily biased. There's also much more nuance to the issue. More marriages are failing, while cohabitation couples are prospering more than if they were married.

    Granted, family structure is important for children. However, marriage has not only become antiquated, it has become unstable in today's socioeconomic climate. There are benefits for children or prospective children, but adults are seeing diminishing returns on investing in a marriage. Not to mention there are fewer incentives to do so in the first place.

  12. Financial slavery to a woman – who can dump you, or cheat on you, with no ill consequences – is fantastic! Form a line right here, all you thirsty cucks! Just because her marriage vows are meaningless (to both her and the courts) is no reason to have doubts! SIGN UP! Do it for the babies!

  13. I agree with what you said. But the realities are: 1) Women are hypergamous by nature and are now free to act on this inclination; 2) Women initiate the majority of divorces; 3) The system is designed to divorce rape men; and, 4) The system is designed to reward single mothers. I have little hope things will change.

  14. This presenter must be living in a place that doesn't reflect today's time and women's lifestyle nowadays. For a man like himself for try to sell the marriage card, he probably has a unicorn as a wife. Does he? Otherwise, he is getting pay by a feminist organization to preach/expand this lie. The reality is women's perception of self respect, decency and moral values have been hijacked by the feminist movement. Gents, women aren't worth of your effort, passion and much less our time. You are dealing with a self obsessed human being. Educate yourself and learn to value you above anything else.

  15. When the vast majority of divorces are initiated by women for no apparent reason other than her finding a better husband for her (hypergamy) and destroying her own family and kids for some selfish desires, yet you make that video and you hope that men would change their minds.
    Whatever you do, don't get married unless the laws change in the favor of men. Our system is so corrupt even cohabitation is something you would never do unless you're in a state that doesn't consider cohabitation = marriage.
    It's in uncle Sam's favor to own and break the families for monetary reasons and control. It's no brainer — whatever you do, don't get married or let the common law apply to you as you will regret it. Currently more than 99% of ALL relationships including marriages end and LESS than 1% make it till senior age, it's because of sane women that choose so. Why on earth do you think you'll be that one if there are no guarantees? Of course, there's are many tests you could apply on her to think she might be a good long-term fit or not, but again, there's no guarantee of any sort! Essentially trusting her doesn't equal trusting the state/government, which is what you have to do when you get married and the government and the wife will most definitely fail you like all the 99% that thought "but she's different". If you can transfer your assets to a trust fund where no one including the government has no access to (i.e.Switzerland banks), you for it, you'll only suffer the pain of the relationship but at least you won't be 70 years old contemplating the thought of suicide after the ex took all your money mercilessly to sleep with another guy in your own house around your own kids that you didn't get the right to see them except once in a blue moon for an hour. And parent-alienate you to your own children because of course–she would NEVER admit to her kids that she's a selfish promiscuous greedy thief and that their dad was a complete loser and that's why she had to leave. This is reality, not anecdotal or exceptions of the rule, you make your own inference. Go figure!
    Most men aren't anti-marriage as an idea, but rather anti-"didn't see it coming" fools' classics

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